Forget Regret Or Life Is Yours To Miss
by WaitingForLife2Begin
Summary: Angel's funeral was on Halloween. Mimi died only 6 months after Christmas. Collins was killed in a mugging shortly after. Roger left around July and hasn't been heard from since. It's almost Christmas and he's probably dead. Joanne and Maureen are alive still, but fighting more than ever. Though, at least they have each other. Me? I'm alone. Or at least I was. -Mark Cohen


**1.**

 ** _Italics = flashbacks_**

 ** _._**

 **December 19th, 1991**

 **10 P.M. Eastern Standard Time**

Angel's funeral was on Halloween. We all had taken her death hard especially Collins, but it hit Roger pretty bad too. He decided that he couldn't just wait for "his song" to come to him; He needed to go find it himself before he succumbed to HIV. Little did Roger know it was here the whole time in the form of our nineteen year old druggie neighbor, Mimi. When Roger did realize this he came back only to have Mimi almost die as he sang her his song. She began to get worse after, but tried to hold out for Roger's sake.

That was Christmas and Mimi died only 6 months later. A few weeks after Collins was killed trying to defend a young man, who like Angel, had been drag queen from some muggers. He didn't know they had guns and was shot three times in the chest. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. The boy got away safely, and Collins was happy to die knowing that.

Roger left around the 4th of July right after Collins funeral and hasn't been heard from since. It's almost Christmas again and he's probably dead. I know I shouldn't think that way, but last time I saw him he didn't look to healthy. I only hope he hasn't started using drugs again...

Joanne and Maureen are alive still, but fighting more than ever. Though, at least they have each other. Joanne comes and check on me every once in a while, and it really pisses off Maureen. I would be too, if my girlfriend kept visiting my ex to see if she was okay, but Joanne's a lesbian so Maureen has literally nothing to worry about. Maureen is just stubborn, if some didn't go her way she wasn't having it, and she was not having Joanne spend more time with me than herself.

Benny, I assume is doing well. I don't see him to often but that's because his wife, Alison, stopped allowing him to come out here after what happened between him and Mimi. To be completely honest I have no idea if they're still married or if they're divorced. All I do know is that ever since Collins died and Roger left, I haven't had to pay any rent. At least one happy thing came out of all this, if you can even consider it that.

Me? I don't leave the loft very much. If at all. I guess having most of your friends die within a year of each other can make someone be a bit depressed or a lot in my case, according to Joanne. I spend my days staring at my camera or watching some footage of happier times when we were all living life like there was no day but today. There's nothing really to film but sadness these days. Hell, I haven't filmed anything since Collins died and Roger left.

They tell me I should get out more, Maureen and Joanne that is. Maureen just wants me to meet someone so Joanne doesn't have to check on me all the time. I don't blame her. I am alone. I've got no friends except Joanne and I'm not sure if Maureen counts. And I probably never have anyone else at this rate.

Well, I thought I wouldn't until I almost ran someone over with my bike after Maureen forced me out of the comfort of my apartment. This person who I met in the most interesting of circumstances has inspired me to get my camera out again, and to not to let all my friends memories be unbearable weights on my shoulders, but to be inspiration to live my life like there is no day but today, like we all use too.

 **.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.**

I set my camera down on nearly empty kitchen counter before removing my scarf and jacket. I slung my jacket on the back of the nearly bursting-with-stuffing couch and then sat down. Today was the most eventful day I had in months. Hell, it was the first time I had LEFT the apartment in months. I got up and went to my projector before grabbing a box of film. I was going to look at some footage from the good old days, like I did every night when my answering machine went off.

"Speakkkkkk."

I cringed at the recorded voice of me and Roger, even though I heard it quite often. I really need to change it, Roger has been gone for months and probably won't be coming back. Yet part me wanted to leave the recorded voice, it made me think of all the ridiculous things that we had done together. One of which was us even fighting over what we should record for the machine. That argument probably has to one of the dumbest fights we had but also one of the most memorable.

 **.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.**

 _"Jeez man we don't want it to be that complicated and long. No one actually listens to automated message, they just want to get to the point," Roger said erasing the message I had just recorded. It wasn't even long and fit the time allotted, the recording simply stated who we were, why we couldn't get to the phone and to leave a message after the beep._

 _"How are people going to even know if they have the right number if we don't say who we are?" I responded matter-of-factly. I know these could get annoying but it's also a relief when you know you've dialed the right number._

 _"Why would someone people have our number if they don't know who we are?"_

 _"They could miss dial."_

 _"C'mon man people just waNT TO SPEAK."_

 _"Fine you want it simple? Let's leave it at that and only say SPEAK. Not like that won't get annoying or anything..." I said this as a joke but Roger took it seriously and it became our voicemail. It was annoying at first, but Roger and I got used to it. Plus, people always knew who they called when they heard SPEAKKKKKK._

 **.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.**

When the voicemail began to play I was pulled out of my thoughts. It was from none other than Joanne.

"Hey Mark, it's me Joanne. Just calling to see if how you're doing today and also to apologize for what Maureen said earlier. We know it's been rough for you that past year, it has been for us too. She just wants you to get out of the house and to socialize some more. You only ever see us anymore-"

I cut off the message and deleted it. It was the same as always, "it affected us too, we just want the best for you." I have a hard time with my own mother, I didn't need two more.

"SPEAKKKKKKK"

-of the devil. My mom had left a message. Again, it was also the same thing every time.

"Mark? Are you still screening your calls? It's Mom. Just calling to tell you we love you and are you coming over for the holidays? We miss you! Sorry about your friends... Are you coming to visit soon?"

God she can get annoying with her constant phone calls, but she was my mother so I shouldn't expect anything less. I probably should call her back at one point but not right now. I don't have anything to say, besides she already knew the answer. No, I wasn't going home anytime soon. I was worse off there than I was here in Alphabet city.

Another message was on the machine, by a person I didn't actually expect to call.

"Hello? I'm not sure I have the right number but I'm hoping I do. So uh... if this is the number for Mark Cohen? It's Beth from earlier today... I just wanted to make sure this was a real number and so yeah. See you at Life Support? Maybe next time you won't hit me with your bike on the way..."

The message ended after a long moment of silence and in that silence I went all over all of the events that happened today and how I came to meet this girl, Beth...


End file.
